For years, the thought of sitting behind the wheel filled me with dread. The mere idea of learning to drive seemed like an insurmountable challenge, one that I convinced myself I would never overcome. In this post I discuss how to overcome your fear of driving and what worked for me to go from someone who had massive anxiety to someone who actually enjoys it.
What is a fear of driving?
Fear of driving, also known as driving phobia or vehophobia, can manifest in various ways and affect individuals to different degrees. While some people may feel only mild nervousness or apprehension when driving in certain situations, others may experience intense fear or panic attacks that significantly interfere with their ability to drive or even ride as a passenger in a vehicle.
Some people may experience physical symptoms such as an increased heart rate, muscle tension, trembling, sweating, or feeling lightheaded or faint.
Avoidance of driving
I took my first driving test when I was seventeen, failing miserably by knocking my wing mirror off. Not long after that I moved to London where I didn’t need to drive, everything was easier using public transport and I didn’t give it another thought.
Eventually, I moved to Brighton where hardly anyone I met owned a car. You could walk everywhere in the City and I commuted to London for work by train.
I made excuses, telling myself that it was far too expensive, avoided discussions about driving, and found creative ways to navigate life without ever getting behind the wheel. I got lifts from friends and trains to see family and get to work.
My driving anxiety, caused by self-doubt and worries, held me back from experiencing the freedom and independence that comes with being a licensed driver.
When I moved to a small village things became really tough without a car and when I found out I was pregnant I had no choice but to confront my driving anxiety and took the first step of booking some lessons with a driving instructor.
I was extremely nervous the first few times I sat in the driver’s seat, but I gained more confidence as time went on. I think the hardest point for me was when I passed my driving test, being out on the roads on my own – nobody sitting next to me with their own brakes!
It took me a long time to feel confident. For at least a year I would experience anxiety every time I got behind the steering wheel.
I would drive to meet friends and spend the whole time worrying about the fact that i had to drive back home. Always worried about something happening, having an accident and it being my fault. Getting stuck in heavy traffic and breaking down. You name it, I worried about it.
Whether you’re avoiding learning to drive because of a driving phobia, or you’re just feeling nervous about driving because of a particular event or a bad experience, the tips below can really help reduce your driving-related anxiety and get you out on the road.
Identify the root causes
Take some time to reflect on what specifically triggers your fear of driving. It could be a number of different underlying causes, including:
Past traumatic experiences: A previous car accident, near-misses, or traumatic event involving driving can lead to a heightened fear of driving in the future.
Generalised anxiety: People with an underlying anxiety disorder may experience heightened anxiety when faced with driving situations due to worries about potential accidents, loss of control, or other perceived threats.
Specific phobias: Some people may develop a specific phobia related to driving, such as fear of highways, bridges, tunnels, or driving at night or in adverse weather conditions.
Negative beliefs and thoughts: Negative beliefs about driving, such as fear of making mistakes, fear of judgment from others, or catastrophic thinking about potential accidents, can contribute to driving anxiety.
Lack of experience or skills: People who lack experience or confidence in their driving abilities may feel anxious or insecure when navigating unfamiliar roads or in challenging driving conditions. It may help to go out with a family member or close friend for support.
Other mental health conditions: Conditions such as panic disorder, agoraphobia, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), or specific phobias may co-occur with driving phobia and exacerbate symptoms.
For me it was loss of control. The thought of me being behind the wheel of a car seemed so frightening. All it would take was one small slip up and something terrible could happen. The more I thought about it, the more it scared me. I couldn’t imagine myself being in control of something that seemed so big, so heavy and fast.
Gradual exposure
It’s a good idea to start small to begin with. Practice driving in familiar and low-stress environments, such as empty parking lots, quiet residential streets, or local roads with minimal traffic. Gradually increase the complexity of your driving tasks as you gain confidence.
Progress at your own pace. Set achievable goals for yourself and gradually expose yourself to more challenging driving situations over time. Don’t rush the process; it’s okay to take breaks and step back if you feel overwhelmed. If you are learning for the first time, let your instructor know you are nervous and what you feel comfortable with. They are there to help you and will understand.
Seek professional help
If you already have a licence and feel nervous behind the wheel, you could consider driver education courses. Enroll in a driver education program or refresher course to brush up on your driving skills and gain confidence under the guidance of a qualified instructor.
If your fear of driving significantly impacts your daily life and functioning, consider seeking therapy from a healthcare professional who specialises in treating anxiety disorders or a specific phobia. Cognitive-behavioral therapy could really help by using an evidence-based therapeutic approach, offering practical tools and strategies to challenge negative thought patterns.
Practice relaxation techniques
Practice deep breathing exercises to help calm your nerves and reduce anxiety while driving. Focus on slow, deep breaths to help relax your body and mind.
I used Bach Rescue Remedy pastilles when I was doing my driving lessons and on the day of my test. I definitely think they help me relax. It could be mind over matter, but when I get anxious, I chew on one of these, and I calm down.
Set realistic goals
Acknowledge and celebrate your progress, no matter how small. Each successful driving experience, whether it’s a short trip to the store or a longer journey, is a step forward in overcoming your fear and building confidence.
I remember the first time I did my first motorway trip by myself. I drove to Brighton and spent the day there. I was amazed that I had driven that far, on busy motorways and was in one piece! Needless to say I spent the day worrying about the journey home.
My phone died on the way home, which I was relying on for directions. I had no idea which way to go, and ended up taking the wrong turn and getting lost on a busy motorway at rush hour, almost doubling the time it took me to get back.
I was so stressed out and upset afterwards, but even though it felt like a traumatic experience at the time, it also turned out to be one of the best things that could have happened. I realised that I could drive on the motorway. I had already faced one of my biggest fears and came out the other side.
Stay consistent and persistent
Consistency is the key to building confidence behind the wheel. Make an effort to practice driving regularly, even if it’s just short trips around where you live, to maintain and reinforce your skills.
Don’t give up! There may be times when you feel discouraged or tempted to avoid driving altogether, but don’t give up. Keep pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone, and remember that each experience is an opportunity for growth and learning.
When I first passed my test and felt anxious about driving, especially with a young child in the backseat, I would drive to a nearby large housing development most days and drive around. I didn’t have anywhere in particular to go, but it helped me gain confidence as there were lots of residential roads and roundabouts and no major roads leading to it.
There were days that I would overthink driving, getting myself into a state, that I wouldn’t even get in the car, preferring to stay indoors or walk to the high street. But if I hadn’t kept on pushing myself then I would have never got to the stage where I am now where I don’t worry and it feels natural.
The good news is that overcoming the fear of driving and becoming a confident driver is achievable with time, effort, and perseverance. I am a perfect example of someone who avoided driving for years, having huge driving anxiety, who now enjoys it and can’t imagine life without it. My quality of life is so much better than if I hadn’t taken the first step and booked a lesson.
I’m not going to lie, I can still be an anxious driver at times, especially if I am driving somewhere new for the first time and I can feel my anxiety levels rise if I know I have to drive in bad weather. But the longer I have been driving the more confident I become.
Be patient with yourself, celebrate your progress, and remember that you’re not alone on this journey.
